It's over

She asked for signs but no one appear.
She tried to keep it, but it just flew away.
Efforts not appreciated.
Too many reasons had been said, creation of lies.
Sacrifices and pain was enough.
You don't know how long she hold the word "kaya ko pa"
Before she let go of the word, "ayoko na"

If you don't want to believe my answers better tell me what you wanna hear.

"If you don't want to believe my answers
better tell me what you wanna hear.."

the girl that lost her way

"You see THAT girl,? yeah her.
She seems so invincible right.
but just touch her & she'll flinch.
She has secrets & she trusts no one.
she's the perfect example of betrayal.
cause everyone she trusted, broke her"

Some info about the blog and the author

What I need to write for my blog?
Or should I say what I want to write at this moment?

It's already 1am midnight but I'm still awake, I know I need to sleep at this time because I have a class later at 8am. But I can't sleep. Many things enter my mind.

I just want to write now a simple background introducing myself as I name my blog. "my life is not perfect but I am happy."

Yes, Everyone doesn't have a perfect life. But only few people understand it. Many are complaining about life and always say that LIFE IS UNFAIR. Same as "I'm not perfect but people loves me." There are things lacking in our life for us to find it out as we explore to live each day. You are the one who make decisions, you may ask opinion of others, but still its your choice. All of us need to understand that we live in this world to search for our purpose why we are here. To live in God's will and make our own way to build relationships or connections to help people. Life is not unfair, only people who blame this beautiful world for their failures are the one who thinks that its not.

My professor had told in our discussion the quoted line from Alice in Wonderland,
"If you don't know where you're going, then any road will lead you there.

"If you don't know where you are going you’ll never know when you have arrived! To get anywhere there must be have an end view. If you have no plan to where you really want to go, then you will just go on with the flow and wonder what road leads you.. Therefore you must create a plan with some idea of where you want to go so that you will know where you need to start and how long it will take you to get there. Through this, you will set strategies to achieve your goal and make plans on how to reach it. Failing to plan, means you’re planning to fall. Making a map on where you really want to go is an important thing in succeeding to any kind of journey. We must always remember that the first step in success is setting up a goal. In order for us to know what road we need to take. There are 3 kinds of people, those who make the future happen, those who watch the future happen, and those who wonder what happened."

I'm a currently 3rdyear college student, 18 years of age and its been half a month since I start to make a blog. Actually I'm not fond of writing . Therefore as I grew up. I enjoyed reading stories or thoughts of inspiration or just stories itself. But still I'm not good in writing that's why back then, I didn't even give it a try.

One situation have forced me to write on a blog. It was when I feel nostalgia and my friends are too busy to listen on my stories. I need to move on so I think of a new thing to do in order to switch a path. In my other posts, I told stories how my heart breaks for 3 times in 3 different kind of people. I just have a relationship once and that's it. I have learned.

They say in order to move on, just go and hang-out with your friends. I did, it was effective at the start but when friends need to go home and bid-goodbye, again I long for that person. I can't always reach my friends to tell them, I was hurt, I need someone to talk to, I need them and so on because I understand that they are also busy in their own problems that's the reason why I've decided to put all I want to tell them on a paper.  My first line was, "Dear Diary, I am writing here some stories about me instead of doing my assignments..."

Aba! I don't have love relationships when I was in high school, because I believe that all relationships will broke up, its just a matter of when. Yes, I admit sometimes I got attracted to some boys but when they start to be so close to me and tell me that they like me and ask if they can court me. I ignore and didn't  talk to them for a long time. It was my belief and many couples on my high school days prove me that it was right.

I'm taking a business course, but it seems that my enthusiasm is not more about business, I want photo-shot, taking pictures is what I really like to do. I want to be a photographer. I may not good in writing stories that make people amazed and whatsoever. But I am fond of reading books, I don't care who the author was, as long as I want the topic.. I will read that book.

everything will change, it's just a matter of when

I saw him again, the man who try to court me once. He greeted and join me in my table at our department lobby. I asked him how he is doing and so on. We talked just a few minutes because their professor was already there. After that, I wrote this on my paper.

He was my batch-mate and schoolmate here in our university. We are in different course but somehow by a common friend, we have known each other.

Back then when we are in Second year- 2nd semester, a common friend introduced him to me. He says he like me and asked if we can be friends. I was shy that time so I don't even glance at him. Everyday during our Filipino subject, I always saw him outside our room, standing there looking at me for just a few seconds and will go away to attend his class. We become friends on Facebook. But the semester ends without having a talk with each other. Then long summer break come. We become text mates and able to know each other little by little. We are in opposite religion and beliefs and that stops us from being together.

Then Third year-1st semester came, we are able to see each other again. I always greet him after our class as I passed by the corridor outside his room. We tell some stories about our day. I don't remember exactly what had happened, we lose communication, even though we both still have phone numbers, we didn't able to text that often.

Third year- 2nd semester. Life still continues until one day a friend of mine told me that she saw that guy with another girl. Holding hands with each other. I just smiled and take a deep breath, then I said....
"well, then.... it's okay.. Good for him."
at the back of my mind, I remember flashback of our memories. But then I'm happy because he found a girl that loves him, she was great and I know she will take care of him.

The feeling of seeing that man again was a good one. I realized that everything will change, it's just a matter of when.
I noticed that all of my past special someones had already found a relationship. While me, still here, living with a broken heart, emotionally damaged, complicated and unpredictable.

-Trust is like a mirror..once its BROKEN you can never look at it the same again...
-It wasn't your fault, it was mine for believing every word u said.

-Never trust someone who lies to you.
-Never lie to someone who trusts you.
-Trust no one, tell your secrets to nobody and no one will ever betray you.
-I've learned the best way to prevent your heart from getting broken, is to act like you don't have one.

-'What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can longer believe you.'
-Behind every girl who don't trust is a boy who taught her to be that way...

-She Has Secrets You'll Never Know Or Understand,

She Appears So Strong On The Outside,
But On The Inside Her World Is Spinnin Upside Down.
Shes Smiling And Standing Tall to the Outer World,
Shes Crying And Breaking Down In Her Inner World.


She Appears So Happy to Her Mates,
But Alone, She Shares Her Tears With Her Pillow.
She Knows Not to Get Her Hopes Up,
As They Always Come Crashing Down.
Shes Heard It All Before and Felt It All.
Shes Experienced More Then Her Fair Share.
1 Touch, & She'll Flinch
1 Harsh, Word & She'll Cry
1 Bad Moment, & She'll Break Down

She Trusts No one, Because The People She Has, Hurt Her & Leave Her to Pick Up The Pieces
She Believes No one, Because The People She Has, Lie & Betray Her.
So For Now She'll Keep to Herself & Pretend Everything Is Fine, When Everything Is Wrong

I Know This Girl, Because This Girl...
Is Me.
-Every friendship, every relationship, is bound to fall apart when you start keeping things to yourself.
Secrets don't destroy things...but suspicion does..

-Carmen: How come it's easy for us to be mad at the people we trust?
Tibby: Because you know that they'll love you no matter what.
-The worst part about being lied to is knowing that you weren't worth the truth.
-Sometimes . . . you've got to be hurt before you can move on. And that makes you stronger. But at other times . . . you get hurt . . . and you can never trust again.
The truth is, I'm not mad at you. I'm just hurt; and the fact that every time your name pops up on my phone or computer, my heart sinks a little bit deeper. You don't realize what you've made me go through; but I can guarantee you're not doing it again. Thanks for teaching me just how much it hurts to be played with....learned a lot.
I believe that allowing someone to remain a part of your life after they've betrayed or hurt you is simply giving them permission and opportunity to do it again
Of course he catches me when i'm falling, but he's the one who dropped me.
'hope this makes sense to more than just me'
Sometimes when people lie, It's only because, knowing that the truth would hurt so bad, they would hate to see you cry.
The worst of betrayals is by those who you trust most. Beware.

HE LIED. SHE BELIEVE

In the first time we met..
we became friends, more than friends.
as days passed by, we are in the stage of falling in love with each other.
many things had happened..
but now I discovered something......
he was courting another woman..
He lied to me...
After that I send him a text message..
then I decided not to reply to his message
and I hope... I will be able to do it..
cause I cant keep myself from looking back to him
even though I know from the start.. HE LIED TO ME >.<

Another man prove me that all men are not trustworthy

"I trust you" is a better compliment than "I love you"
because you can't love the one you don't trust. But believe me you can always love the one you trust.
Once it is broken, it's hard to build it again.

I'm not a man-hater girl, but it seems that all men I met was good players in their own game. I give more than I receive, I love more than I was loved. It's not their fault if I was hurt, its mine because I believe in them.

In my 18 years of existence, I only give importance to  3 men.

the first one was my first love, it happened when I was a 3rd-year high school student. We are first strangers with some common friends. We become closer each day. But somehow my best friend fall in love with him and they are the one who had a commitment. Maybe because that time I wasn't prepared for a relationship that's why he choose to court another girl. I become insecure...


The second one was my first boyfriend, we were not that long, actually our relationship was too short, I was serious about him but he flirts with another girl after I refused to give what he want. I love him but somewhere in my mind tells me that it's not right or it's not the time to do it. I become more insecure and conscious .

The third one was a totally stranger, without mutual connections we become friends, we started to build a connection, each day we slowly know each other more. But he lied... I thought he was not like other men. But he just showed me affection. Make me fall in love but let me reached the ground by myself. Until I realized nothing was real between us. After I tell him everything about me, he lied about himself. Again for the third time, I was fooled by a game I didn't even know had started. I become a man-hater.

I don't know what to do at the time I write this on my paper. It wasn't their fault if they have hurt me. It was me believing them and expecting for more.
They say that "don't expect because expectation hurts." Therefore, we cannot control ourselves all the time not to imagine things we want to happen.

As of now, I don't believe in boys. They were all good players. They will surely leave you, Its just a matter of when. What upset me is not that you lied to me, but I can no longer believe in you. I should have trust myself more. I'm tired of playing games and being fooled. Someday, somehow I know there is a man who could change my beliefs and love me like anyone else does...

please like these pages on Facebook
Until you meet the new us,we'll try our best,and we'll see each other again
Maybe Im too late to be your first,but Im preparing to be your last
He's not the only man in the universe,but he's the only one that matters

 http://gillboard.blogspot.com/2011/11/kung-anim-na-taon-ka-nang-blogger.html

Until you meet the new us, we'll try our best and we'll see each other again.

Until you meet the new us, 

we'll try our best and we'll see each other again. 

I will wait for you as long as I can

I will wait for you just right here

Girl:

You came into my life without expecting that you will take a part of my heart. Unintentionally, I loved you, but somehow I want to give up this kind of feeling 'cause I don't want to be selfish for my own happiness. You have to take an opportunity and taking that means we need to stop being like this, cause you're going somewhere and will live there for a long time. It's for your own good and career. You already finished college and now going to a real world and being together is no longer going to be the same. You are the one who started to build walls on us. You have decided. I'm happy to see you reaching your dreams, but I feel sad because I'm not a part of that success. All I can do now is bid you a Good Luck and pray to God for your safety as you go along your journey. I'm just here whenever you need to, waiting for your attention.

I don't know if I can wait for you to come back, because I don't  know if there's something I need to wait.

All I can do is to continue living in this world with some of my friends and people by my side. Enjoying my life without you is a hard realization. But if its the only thing I need to do... then go on..

I don't want you to see me suffering like this. I don't want to be a burden on your success.
Somewhere, somehow, I know our roads will crossed again. It doesn't matter when. And if that time comes,  I want to stand up straight and be proud that I am not like before, more matured and already a lady.

I don't know if in that time I still have this feelings for you but as I wrote this on my blog... I swear, I love you.....

Boy:

We are totally strangers, we became friends without mutual connection. I wonder why two people from different kind of world, without mutual friends met accidentally, maybe because it has a purpose. Everyday we talk and get to know each other more and feelings go deeper. But I don't want to show my feelings for you. I'm afraid what will happen next. We have met at the wrong time of my life. I'm on my training and examination followed by an interview for my application to work far distance from my home. I will stay there for a long time and I don't know when will I come back. I will get busy there because the life of all the passengers is in my hand. I'm afraid that when my application was approved, I will leave you behind and surely you will be depressed by that time. That's why I've decided to hide my feelings for you, I want you to focus on your studies and enjoy your college life without thinking about me in this far land. I want you to learn how to be independent and control your emotions. This may seem unfair but it's for our own good.

I don't want you to wait for me, because I want you to explore this world and meet different people. I want you to reach your dreams without waiting for me in vain.

When I come back, I don't know if you are still the childish girl I've known, but I know that things are not like the same anymore.

Therefore, I still want to see you again, after I come back. I don't know if we can still continue what we have started. All I know is that in times that we are together, I fall in love with you... and I know its true...




Song: Somewhere Down the Road
We had the right love
At the wrong time
Guess I always knew inside
I wouldn't have you for a long time

Those dreams of yours
Are shining on distant shores
And if they're calling you away
I have no right to make you stay

But somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong with me

Sometimes good-byes are not forever
It doesn't matter if you're gone
I still believe in us together
I understand more than you think I can
You have to go out on your own
So you can find your way back home

And somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong with me
Letting go is just another way to say
I'll always love you so

We had the right love
At the wrong time
Maybe we've only just begun
Maybe the best is yet to come
'Cause

Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong
With me

http://gillboard.blogspot.com/
http://gillboard.blogspot.com/2011/11/kung-anim-na-taon-ka-nang-blogger.html

Friend's love

I love you now without thinking what will happen tomorrow. I like your eyes, how much more if you look at me. I like how you smile, how much more if I'm the reason of it. I like how your hands hit me. I like the way you talk, especially when you share funny ideas. Oh yes, you're so clumsy, sometimes immature and childish. But you can enjoy growing up with me. Despite of your childish acts, who can deny the fact that you're sweet, loving and admirable. I love how you appreciate things around you. I love how you care for your friends. Your works are full of effort. And you're motivated by your own self-esteem.

You may not be the most beautiful girl in this world, but you're wonderful just the way you are. You may not be the smartest girl in this university, but your habit in studying are enough. You may not be the sexiest girl in this country, but it doesn't matter at all. Because on the other side, I may not be the best but I'm thankful you love me.
As long as we are contented with what we have. We can be together and prove that love exists. Contentment is acceptance but it doesn't mean that we will no longer change ourselves. We can improve each others life and still end up together.
But for now, we are too young to prove that true love exists. I'm happy to see you smile whatever the reason of it. I will take care of you as a friend. I will be just here for you, whenever you need me. 2 years from now, you're already graduated. And I don't know if we can still be together 5years from now. But there's something I want to say to you. I will tell you these words without expecting something in return. My dear friend, I adore you since the time we first met. Tears came out from my eyes the moment you walked away. And if ever you decided to come back, I'm just here waiting for you. You may not be the best in this world, but you can be the best in my life. I love you without doubt. I love you now, and if tomorrow comes, I would still love you, my dear friend.

She's just too much. Is it a valid reason to break up with her?

Boy:I broke up with her.
His Best Friend:What happened?
Boy:She’s just too much for me.
His Best Friend:What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?
Boy:Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good,always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..
His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..
Boy:Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!
His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..
Boy:But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!
His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..
Boy:I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her.
His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..
Boy:Well, she..
His Best Friend:You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?
Boy:I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?
His Best Friend:You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened..

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SLEEPING WITH YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE IS ONE OF THE MOST HEARTWARMING EXPERIENCE YOU'LL EVER HAVE

People always think that when you sleep together, there’s always something that is happening in between the sheets and the bed. But let me tell you, It’s not always like that. The feeling of actually hugging each other until you fall asleep, the warmth of each others breath, and the total happiness in the morning when you wake up right beside them. Everything may sound so good to be true, but sometimes it takes a lot of responsibility and love to be able to be as wholesome as possible. SLEEPING WITH YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE IS ONE OF THE MOST HEARTWARMING EXPERIENCE YOU'LL EVER HAVE. No nothing, simply hugging and smiling yourself to sleep. :)





















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